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| Sunday, February 16 3:36pm |
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| Sunday, February 16 5:23pm |
Initially I just cleaned up everything, culling away the obvious, putting like items in their organizational bins. Order always makes things feel a little bit better. The problem is this is a temporary solution. The peace that it brings is fleeting because there is still too much stuff and it always gets scattered again. Within a day the frustrations return along with the bad attitudes. I took the next step.
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| Tuesday, February 18 |
It took less than an hour to put all the toys in an unused closet. I took almost everything, including excess decorations, from the play spaces. I wanted a peaceful, zen-looking area that would facilitate the moods and behavior I was after. I was a little nervous about the boys' first reactions but they were ecstatic*! They loved the way their room and the play area (above) looked. I left the books, the art supplies, one special stuffed animal for each boy and the outdoor toys such as bikes and balls. Everything else was removed. Even the excess clothing.
It has been a month now. I originally had planned to do this for four to six weeks and then gradually allow some toys back into our living space but I'm not ready and neither are the boys. I love the changes it has brought in our day-to-day life.
There are three reasons I think this has worked so well.
1) My mind is clearer. My mood and level of creativity is greatly impacted by my environment. I find it hard to take on new projects or even complete overdue tasks (I'm talking to you, Christmas gifts, that are still waiting to be mailed out!) because of the stagnation a cluttered space creates. I feel annoyed and irritated when my home is cluttered and so my time is spent either procrastinating/avoiding or cleaning up. It feels like I'm perpetually dealing with the past more than living in the present, always being reactive rather than proactive. I don't like it. Removing the toys ultimately makes me happier. And everyone knows when mama is happy...
2) There are fewer distractions. Elio, especially, is very easily distracted. And when your schoolroom is also your play area, it is easy to find yourself pushing around a Hot Wheels car instead of reading. The constant temptation and desire to play is a strong pull for Elio and a source of discontent for me. I'm working really hard to strengthen my own daily discipline and in turn I'm trying to teach the boys the same. The elimination of toys virtually eliminates the incessant dawdling and hopefully will cultivate an improved ability to focus for the boys.
3) Our lives are easier. There is very little cleaning up to do in the house which means we all have more time to play outside. The boys fight less because for some reason, even though we have bins upon bins of Legos they often always need the exact same piece. Or someone's Lego truck was dropped by another. Or the mess is my brother's, not mine, so why do I have to help clean it up!? We don't have that
Elio, just yesterday, tossed his arms around me and said, 'We don't fight as much anymore.' He is exactly right. Things have become more peaceful in the house. And I fully attribute it to taking away the toys.
This experience reminds me of a TED talk I watched recently called 'Embrace the Shake' in which the speaker asks 'Could you become more creative by looking for limitations?' I suggest everyone watch it. If I knew how to embed it here I would, but since I don't:
